Our lens (ratio) determines our lives 

How are we seeing the world? Our answer likely determines the life we’re living. As we continue our BE-coming journey together (see previous columns here), today we’ll consider the lens through which we are seeing the world and it’s influence on the life we’re living. 

For half a century, I’ve (Brad) generally viewed the world as an on-going shot-clock ticking down in my head in the midst of a race to score as many points as possible before the buzzer sounds. From early childhood, I was “getting things done” and trying to make the most of every second. Sometimes this played out humorously, as when my parents limited our weekly TV time to 6 hours. I would walk into the kitchen during the ads (yes kids – we couldn’t skip through the ads back then), causing my mom to question what I was doing. I explained to her ads made up 1/3rd of each show, so by walking out of the room during ads, I could effectively “watch” an extra 2 hours of shows/week by not investing any of my 6 hours in advertisements. Now multiply that mindset as a child over 57 years of life 😊. However, while there have been plenty of benefits to this lens, the negatives also piled up, as I couldn’t seem to shake the ticking clock in my head 24/7, constantly looking for how to squeeze just a little bit more into each moment and thus entirely missing that moment in the process! 

Others may be on the opposite side of the coin – BE-ing extremely present and mindful, but then seemingly penalized in a world that includes schedules, work commitments and mortgage payments.  

That’s where our lens – or conscious ratio between BE and Coming – comes into play. Just as with wellness fads and politics, the value is generally in the middle, with the dangers hiding in the extremes. What’s your current ratio? Are you 95% Coming and 5% Being? 12% Coming and 88% Being? 62/38? It’s an important question to consider. Just like the consideration we gave to our current potential Big 3 (time/money/health) debt over the past few weeks provided a strategic starting point, this provides similar insights. Once we garner a sense of our BE/Coming lens ratio, we can then lean in on shifting that ratio on the road to a better life. 

Fortunately, solutions may be right in front of us if we’re willing to look. That ticking clock in my head? For the past 6 weeks, I’ve removed the watch I’ve worn 24/7 and adjusted my phone’s home screen so time is off my radar (yes – I still live & work in the real world, thus utilize various alarms to alert me to meetings and events on the schedule). It’s been an intriguing, and valuable experience, resulting in a quieting of the ticking and an expansion of BE-living. Maybe your ratio tilts heavily toward the BE lens and you’d benefit from once/day timed activities that brings COMING to the forefront. 

So what’s the ratio of your BE-Coming lens and what is a single shift you could play around with over the coming week to tilt the scales just a bit?